Silly Drabbles
by toobeauty
Summary: Because this is Fun and Fiction! Our Beloved Ones are a lot more domestic, living other kind of situations, really silly ones. Rating will varied from K to M, so you are warned!
1. Right or left?

TITLE: Right or left?

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion.

RATING: PG.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*

WARNING: None, just implied m/m relationship. Our Beloved Ones are more domestic !

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First drabble of the series "A&H Silly Drabbles"

Alexander and Hephaestion got to Babylon when Helios was hiding behind the high walls. They were really tired but they still had many things to do.

Two hours later, both lovers were standing, one next to the other.

"So right or left, Phai?" asked the king.

"I don't know!" answered Hephaestion looking at his lover into his eyes.

"You must take a decision, it shouldn't be so difficult! Phai"

"Don't push me; I am too tired to make a decision now."

"The sooner you take that decision, the better we will feel" Alexander said with a calming voice.

"I know but I can't. Let's consider the options: right would mean the mountains, a nice landscape but some cold air and an early morning sun; left would mean the city buildings, nice night view but the noise from the city itself!"

"So?" asked Alexander feeling now a bit impatient.

"What about you Alex? You are the King and you always take this kind of decisions"

"Right now, I am the King of air and a very tired one. Besides, you are one of my Generals and I've always trusted you with your decisions, even though you are taking your time tonight."

"All right, I choose right" Hephaestion said sighing loudly.

"Finally" said Alexander throwing sweetly his lover on the chosen side of the King-size bed.


	2. More and Again

TITLE: More and Again!

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion.

RATING: PG.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*

WARNING: None, just implied m/m relationship. Our Beloved Ones are more domestic !

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Second drabble of the series "A&H Silly Drabbles"

Phineas, the blond page and toy boy of General Cleitus, was running along the corridors of the Babylonian Palace. The sooner he gave the message to the King, the sooner he'd be enjoying his time alone with his strong master and lover.

Nobody had seen the King for the last two hours; finally he came across a maid who told him she had taken some food and wine to Alexander's and Hephaestion's chamber.

So there he went, the faithful Phineas with the scroll in his hands; on arriving to the thick wooden door, he listened to some strange noises, as if someone was breathing heavily.

He was about to knock when he listened to the clear voice of the King's husband:

"More Alex more" and a loud knock on the wall was the answer.

The page blushed but he was really eager to go back to his lover.

"Do that again!" Phai asked and another dry sound and a person panting heavily was the answer.

Phineas decided that it was not a good moment to interrupt so he went back to the barracks. On his way back, he found Cleitus who kissed him hard on the lips and asked:

"So sweet Phineas, have you had your leave signed by the King? We are going to have so much fun" he said caressing the youth's cheek.

"No I didn't, the king was busy"

"Come on, it is just a signature" Cleitus protested.

"But the King was with Hephaestion …." He said blushing.

"Oh! I see, well, come, he won't throw me away." the black general assured.

They got to the Royal Chambers and listened to a series of knocks, one after the other and getting stronger and between the knocks Hephaestion begging:

"More, more, again and again!"

Even Cleitus blushed and said:

"I've never realized before that Hephaestion could be so demanding …"

"Do that again, Alex" the brunette shouted

"Just wait a moment, let me catch my breath" said Alexander panting.

"More, now, more!" the General and consort pleaded.

Ptolemy was passing by and stopped when he saw Cleitus and Phineas.

"What are you two doing here?"

Cleitus pointed to the door and asked him to make silence.

"Again, again" Hephaestion asked.

"I know, I know" answered Alexander.

"More, more, more … Yes!" Hephaestion shouted and sighed loudly.

"Finally, Phai, I am done for today" said Alexander with tiredness.

The three grown up men blushed even more, they shouldn't have been eavesdropping That!

"Next time, we will ask for someone else's help to move that furniture" said a red faced Alexander to his husband on his way out.


	3. Top or bottom?

TITLE: Top or Bottom?

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion.

RATING: PG.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*

WARNING: None, just implied m/m relationship. Our Beloved Ones are more domestic !

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Third drabble of the series "A&H Silly Drabbles"

Both youths have just got to Mieza with the rest of the future companions. King Philip had summoned them to be there by the beginning of the autumn. They had spent the previous two summers training under the hard and heavy hand of Leonidas, who had taught them the art of war and how to change those chubby bodies into well-toned ones.

Now that all of them had built-up bodies, they needed to cultivate their minds, because a strong body with a weak or slow mind was useless, not only in the battlefield but also in life.

The Macedonian king had decided that his son and heir to the throne needed a fine education so he had asked Aristotle to teach him and the sons of the noblest men in his Army.

The young men were excited but Alexander and his steadfast friend Hephaestion were more, the two of them really enjoyed learning; they were quick at getting intelligent remarks and wise decisions; they also share the passion for reading and that had also led to very interesting discussions between them.

They have also discovered that they enjoyed their time together very much and they have also dawn on how well they complemented each other; a feeling of love had blossomed between them but they were still a bit shy even though they had confessed their love.

Aristotle greeted them and soon after, their first class began. They stopped to have lunch in the open air and after it; Aristotle challenged them into a thinking process exercise.

Alexander and Hephaestion got it in few minutes with very good results; their teacher was surprised and proud at the same time.

When the last class was over, Aristotle told them that they would share their chambers with a roommate decided by his own knowledge. Alexander was really worried, he wanted so badly to share his room with Hephaestion, he didn't want any of his friends to enjoy seeing his Phai when he got dressed or undressed or going to sleep or getting up with those lovely blue eyes like slits. He was also planning to go further in their relationship and he would ask Hephaestion the first chance he had.

Aristotle paired them all and he enjoyed seeing the angst all plastered on Alexander's face and the nervousness of his brunette special friend. The master had realized what type of bond both young men shared and he would do anything to help them.

The teacher had never seen before such a big and bright smile as the one both youths had when he mentioned both their names together.

After the evening meal, they were dismissed early so they could have time to unpack their belongings and prepare to sleep.

Alexander entered the room first and liked immediately; Hephaestion went directly to the window and he admired the view from there; he could see the garden and the trees devoid of their leaves.

Hephaestion was finishing putting his clothes into the wood drawer when he felt two strong arms around his waist, he sighed loudly and rested his back onto the well-built chest, Alexander nibbled his earlobe and set small butterfly kisses on Phai's bare shoulder and neck. The brunette turned round into the prince's arms and kissed him with passion.

When the kiss was over, the prince whispered into his beloved's ear:

"So my dear Phai, top or bottom?"

"Well my love, you are the Prince, you should go on top" he answered blushing.

"Inside our chamber, there is no prince, just Alexander and Hephaestion. And I wouldn't mind going bottom …." he whispered.

"Really? I'd never thought you'd say that" the brunette said.

"Phai, Phai, I love you, I'd do anything for you!" assured the Prince.

"How about switching? Maybe we can do it until we discover what suits us best" suggested Hephaestion.

"Good reasoning, my love. But what about tonight?" Alexander asked.

"It would be my pleasure if you go on top first, Alex"

"Your wish is my command, Phai" said Alexander and after kissing him tenderly, he climbed the ladder to the top bed.


	4. Quick and hard or slow and soft?

TITLE: Quick and hard or slow and soft?

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion.

RATING: PG.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*

WARNING: None, just implied m/m relationship. Our Beloved Ones are more domestic !

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Fourth drabble of the series "A&H Silly Drabbles"

Hephaestion stormed inside the Royal chamber, fuming and in pain; he had had one of those days were everything went wrong.

It started really early when Phainder woke up in the middle of the night when a Cyclops wanted to eat him; Alexander had told him his bedtime story and he had made the wrong choice … again. It took Hephaestion nearly an hour to calm their three-year-old son. When Phainder fell asleep again, Hephaestion was cramped in the small bed; he went back to their bedroom and got under the covers, he was chilled so he got closer to Alexander whose skin was always warm, but the great king yelled because his husband was frozen; tired and angry, the gorgeous Hephaestion turned onto his side and set himself in the opposite side of the bed while Alexander went back to his loud snoring.

Morning came too quickly for Hephaestion's like but he had many interviews already planned and he had also some lessons to give; he was teaching Oratory and Diplomacy at the Royal School in the Palace.

Breakfast was fine and after kissing his son and husband goodbye, Hephaestion went towards the room where the interviews were about to be held. On his way, the king tried to group his partner but the brunette told him off, telling him he was not in the mood.

Many ambassadors from different parts came to pay respects to the great king and also to speak about the administration of their lands which were in the furthest frontiers of the vast empire. Each ambassador brought a different problem and none of them were easy to solve. Despite his pounding headache, the Chiliarch could find a solution that suited each ambassador, who went out of the room speaking marvels of the wise young man.

Around midday, Alexander went to look for his partner, he knew he had misbehaved and having left Phainder with his nana, he took the basket with food, wine and some sweet treats and took his lover to his favourite place, a secluded garden that Alexander had gifted Hephaestion many years ago with a sample of each plant the former General liked.

In there, there was also a love seat and there they had their lunch, between kisses and bites. The chiliarch dozed on his husband's chest and thought that maybe the day was getting better. Things would prove him wrong.

Stephanos, the loyal page and right hand of Hephaestion, reached the gate of the garden and called for him with anxiety in his voice.

"Hephaestion, Hephaestion, the ambassador Pericles is here, demanding your presence and he is threatening with a riot."

On his fast way out, Hephaestion ripped his upper thigh with a rosebush and torn the pants he was wearing. Two hours later, a calmer Pericles was drinking some wine with Alexander in the Throne room and chatting friendly while Hephaestion looked totally worn out. He rubbed his thigh unconsciously but his action wasn't unnoticed. When the ambassador retired, Alexander approached slowly and grinning asked Hephaestion:

"Come on, let me now" while grabbing his partner's hips.

"No, Alexander, not now" he replied bating his hands off.

"Come on Phai, let me …"

"I said NO, why is it so difficult to understand?"

"But Phai …. "

"But nothing."

"But I want to …."

"But I don't! I am going to take Phainder for a ride" he informed leaving the room and a frustrated king.

On arriving to his son's bedroom, his nana was leaving the place.

"Oh, sire, the little prince has just got asleep"

"But isn't it early?"

"A bit but he was really tired; you told me he had a nightmare last night. Is there something wrong?" she asked when she saw his disappointment all over his face.

"Not really, I just wanted to take him for a ride; it doesn't matter, I'll go alone" and there he left a bit sad and with a heavy heart.

He was walking towards the royal stables when the groom went out of Auburn's place and shouted at a boy telling him to go and fetch the chiliarch.

"I am right here, what's the matter?" asked Hephaestion.

"Auburn stepped into a hidden hole on the ground and now she is limping but Bucephalus doesn't leave her side and nobody can get near to help her."

"All right, let's see what I can do" he said with resignation in his voice.

"Come on Oxhead, leave Auburn alone so I can tend her leg", but the stallion was as stubborn as his owner and defied the chiliarch with his big black eyes and his equal big white teeth.

"By Zeus's balls! Move away or I'll tie you up and starve you to death!" shouted Hephaestion.

The king's horse had to have sensed the fury in the man's voice and stepped aside. After an hour, Hephaestion was all sweaty, dirty, in pain and with very bad humour. He started to think what he had done so wrong to have brought the gods' rage on his person.

He needed a bath and calmness so he decided to go to his chamber, but while he was walking he couldn't stop thinking about all the bad things that had happened to him during the day. The moment he entered the room, he was thrown against a wall.

"What are you doing, Alexander? Let me alone"

"I won't, you have been avoiding and denying me all day long."

"This is not the right moment, let me rest."

"No, I won't and decide now or I will have what I want in my own way" threatened Alexander.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really have to ask? You have been avoiding "it" for some hours, I know by now IT must be swollen and painful. So I ask you for the last time: Quick and hard or slow and soft?" He said with a wicked smile.

"That's fine, slow and soft, please" Hephaestion finally said while lying on the big bed.

"That's my boy!" said Alexander while taking slowly the rose thorn from his thigh.


	5. BIG and small

TITLE: Big and Small.

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Alexander & Hephaestion.

RATING: R.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with Phai *sighs*

WARNING: None, just implied m/m relationship. Our Beloved Ones are more domestic !

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Fifth drabble of the series "A&H Silly Drabbles"

"That's the truth!"

"But Phai, don't tell me that!!"

"But it is true, your ego is too big; your father was right when he told you to look for a kingdom of your own"

"That's rude, and you say you love me" the king said pouting.

"I love you, Xander, but saying the truth is the biggest goal in my life" stated Hephaestion.

"What about your small one?" Alexander asked grinning.

"You" said Hephaestion hiding a smile at the immediate outburst.

"I am not small, a bit shorter than you, but everything about me is big" answered back.

"Not all of you, love"

"Name them so" challenged the king.

"Your eyes are small, your attention spam is small, your …"

"That's not true, I can concentrate …"

"No, you can't, you keep changing every second." Hephaestion stated.

"What else?"

"Even your chest is big, your muscles are small."

"I don't need more muscles there, you have enough for both of us. Well go on."

"Ummm, let me think further" said Hephaestion.

"What about this?" said Alexander looking downwards.

"Well, that's big!"

"I know, are you complaining?"

"I would never dare to do that."

"Good, because it is your fault." said the King.

"Mine? How?" asked the General.

"Well, you suck it everyday" he said smirking.

"Well I can't help if I have a kink on your big toe."


	6. I trusted you with IT

"I trusted you"

"Sorry but I couldn't stop"

"I told you one inch but you had to go for the full length!"

"But I get so excited when I have it in my hands"

"You have IT in your hands everyday!"

"I know" said Alexander panting.

"Stop now!"

"I shouldn't, … in the middle of it … "

"I want you out and far from it"

"Let me finish …"

"You cut ten inches of my hair …"

"Umm half your hair …"

"Oh! By Zeus's balls!"


	7. Come rated M

"And after all that public banter and flirting, what happened?" asked Ptolemy.

"Well … what you can obviously imagine" said Alexander blushing.

"So you …" asked the elder companion.

"I … came" whispered Alexander.

"You simply came?"

"Twice …"

"Twice?"

"Hard and steady as if I were a teenager"

"I can't believe it" said Ptolemy.

"Neither can I " said Alexander.

"But it looked so innocent …"

"Yes, it did but nobody could ever realize how innovative can be a bored Phai and a long lock of hair."


	8. God give men two heads

This drabble is for Delos13 who brightened my day with this phrase:"**God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." Robin Williams quotes (American actor)**

* * *

"And that is why that saying is right" said Hephaestion blushing deeply.

"But you are saying that about Alexander too, aren't you?" asked Ptolemy.

"Mainly him, when both of his "heads" are in conflict, his south one is the one that reigns" said Hephaestion seriously but then he started to laugh so heartily that all his companions accompanied him.

Minutes later, a flushed Alexander entered the room and found his Generals still laughing.

"I need silence, my head hurts"

"Hope it is not his south one, if not only Hephaestion could help him" said Ptolemy.


	9. Again

"Again? Are you sure?"

"Yes, Phai, do it!"

"But …"

"No buts, I need this now"

"It will hurt later"

"It will be a happy hurt"

"You will walk funny"

"Who cares?"

"People will talk"

"They will have to discover first"

"You are always loud, Alexander"

"You are the one who makes me scream that loud"

"Please don't embarrass me again"

"They asked and I couldn't lie!"

"But was it necessary to tell them everything so detailed?"

"Yes, so they could be more jealous!"


	10. Location

"Right there!" exclaimed Alexander.

"There?" asked Hephaestion with a wicked laugh.

"Yes, it is amazing how easily you can find its exact location"

"Well, I was born to please you, my love"

"Thank you, and even in the dark, you never miss it, Phai."

"There!" said the brunette pushing further.

"Ahhhhhh ! and even though it is such a tiny spot, you can always give me so much pleasure by caressing it"

"I love when you enjoy this much"

"Well you always find the sore hard spot … in my neck"


End file.
